Far from a Happy Meal
by xCastielsGirlx
Summary: Dedicated to Juura99. AU SasuNaru Sasuke and Naruto are in McDonalds for lunch when something unexpected comes crashing through the door! Guest stars Kamari, Kaoru and Juura. Rated T for cussing


**Hello there, hello there! This fiction is dedicated to the one and only Juura99! I've been in awe of her and she said that I could do this. I suggest, if you don't know who she is, you go check out her stories immediately!**

**Kaoru: well, if that isn't advertising, I don't know what is!**

**Kamari: At least we're getting paid!**

**Me: Actually…**

**Kaoru/Kamari: WHAT?**

**Juura99: 'I hope you enjoy this story and that my characters fulfil their roles splendidly!**

**Disclaimer: I sadly do not own Naruto, he belongs to Misashi. Kamari, Kaoru and Juura belong to Juura99. I only own Cassie and Enjeru, oh and the big-mac sauce…wait, no I sold that for millions :3**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Far from a Happy Meal<span>**

The two boys walked into McDonalds, talking about the day that had been; well, the blonde was doing most of the talking with the occasional comment of the raven-haired boy next to him. The raven raised an eyebrow as when he went to move, he had to unpeel his black converse from the floor.

"Dobe, why did you choose here to eat of all places?" he asked. The blonde with whisker markings on his cheeks grinned.

"_Because _Sasuke-teme, you need more unhealthy food in your life. You can't just eat rabbit food!" the blonde protested. The raven, known as Sasuke, just 'Hn'd' before turning to look at the menu and smiling when the blonde couldn't see him. They approached the counter where a redhead with green eyes was looking bored.

"Welcome to McDonalds, how may I- whoa dude, you're hair looks like a ducks-butt!" he interrupted his routinely speech with that comment. The blonde snorted and Sasuke just looked to the side before glaring at the redhead, whose nametag read 'Kaoru'.

"I don't think that's appropriate behaviour! I'll tell your boss!" Sasuke growled. Kaoru raised an eyebrow before looking behind him.

"Yo, Kamari; seems duck-butt over here wants to meet the boss!" he yelled. Another redhead, most probably the others twin, approached, wrapping up a cheeseburger.

"Heh, good luck. She's skiving and writing again with the waitress. What would you guys like?" he asked, grabbing his twin's arm. The blonde thought for a minute before answering.

"I'll have a large _Big-mac_ meal with a _Pepsi-Max_, four cheeseburgers and a _Crunchy McFlurry_!" He ordered with a huge grin on his face.

"Naruto, are you really going to eat all of that?" he Sasuke asked the blonde. Naruto nodded, turning his no-less-than-the-suns-brightness smile to the raven, who blushed under such a gaze.

"I'll have a _Big-mac_ meal." Sasuke ordered, folding his arms across his chest. Kaoru added it up.

"That'll be £14.48 please!" Kamari stated. Naruto pulled out his wallet and took out a five pound note and a ten pound note and gave it to Kaoru.

"Keep the change; I liked your comment on Sasuke-teme's hair!" he grinned. Kaoru grinned back and chucked the notes into the cash register. The two sat down in a booth in the corner; the place was empty apart from them and two other people in another corner who sat at a laptop. Sasuke could only guess that they were the manager and the waitress by the McDonalds uniform they were wearing. A chip hit his face, forcing his attention back to the blonde in front of him.

"Teme, were you even listening?" he whined and pouted, folding his arms across his chest. Sasuke smirked and grabbed the chip that was thrown at him, leant forward and fed it to the blonde. When Naruto's lips brushed his fingers, he had to suppress a shudder of pleasure. Naruto was grinning and sucking on his straw oh-so innocently. Was it Sasuke or was it getting hot in here?

"KAORU, TURN THE FUCKING HEATER DOWN!" the blonde, named 'Juura' by her tag, yelled. The redhead flinched and went into the back to turn the heater down before conversing with his twin once again who looked at him with adoration. The brunette, dubbed 'Cassie', giggled at the interaction between the two twins, whilst receiving glares from Kamari. A sense of Déjà vu hit Sasuke at the same time as the chip hit his face. He turned and smirked, feeding the blonde the chip once more.

"Dobe, if you want me to put these things in your mouth, all you have to do is ask," Sasuke smirked at the blush that crept up the blondes face. A loud crash brought them out of their moment and everyone turned to face the door where two men were stood with pistols.

"EVERYONE GET DOWN, THIS IS A ROBBERY!" the one with silver hair yelled. He wore a bandana and his hair parted in the middle. He was known on the news as a dangerous escaped convict, Mizuki.

"No shit, we wouldn't have guessed by the guns you were waving in our faces!" Kaoru said calmly, standing protectively in front of his twin. Juura had gone to stand protectively in front of the twins with Cassie at her side; safety was in numbers after all. Mizuki's accomplice had round-rimmed glasses and silver hair tied into a ponytail; Kabuto. He rounded on the raven and blonde who were still sat down.

"Hey, Mizuki, isn't that the Uchiha prodigy?" he asked. Mizuki rounded the weapon on the other two as well. He chuckled when he saw the raven.

"So it is Kabuto; looks like we have someone to take back with us!" he sneered. A growl sounded from Sasuke's left.

"Over my dead body! If you touch Sasuke, I'll kill you!" Naruto snarled. Mizuki chuckled.

"A dead body of yours can easily be provided," he told the blonde. Cerulean blue eyes widened as he felt cool metal being pressed to his forehead. He swallowed as he watched a finger slowly pulling the trigger. A yell caused Mizuki to jump. A loud bang ricocheted of the cheery yellow walls and a red splat hit Ronald McDonald on the face. Mizuki was struggling on the floor with Juura on top of him, hitting him for all she could whilst the brunette was tackling Kabuto. The two recoiled slightly when they were hit back but went back for the two with more gusto than before. The brunette yelled out when her arm was sliced open by the knife that Kabuto had. He went for her chest and she slid to the floor, unable to help anymore, tears pouring down her face at the thought of not being able to help.

Juura was still trying to hit Mizuki and he threw her off. Kaoru had taken Cassie's place and was beating Kabuto with more effort than thought possible. He had a few cuts to his arm, courtesy of the knife and Kamari was near to tears, trying to get his twin to calm down and to safety.

* * *

><p>Sticky floors, in Naruto's opinion, weren't the best things to die on; mainly because of all the germs on them. The pain in his chest was enough to keep him quiet and not moving much. He vaguely registered a tapping on his cheeks and felt something wet splash on his forehead. Did Heaven have a leaky roof or something? Wait, if he was in Heaven, wasn't he supposed to be relieved of pain, or was he just so bad in his life, they thought they'd make him cope with it? He could vaguely make out a voice.<p>

"Sasuke?" he mumbled softly, only just realising that the voice belonged to his long-time crush. His eyes fluttered open and all noise came rushing back to him; yells, shouts, crashes. He went to turn his head to see what was going on but was stopped as Sasuke turned his head away.

"Don't look, you'll only get worried for no reason," he said softly, tears tracing his jawline.

"Sa-suke," he whispered, darkness surrounding his vision. More tears fell down the Uchiha's face as he rubbed the blonde's cheeks and he could see Naruto was struggling to stay awake.

"Shh, shh, don't talk. Just stay awake okay? Just, just stay, okay, Naruto?" he rushed, voice breaking on the last bit. Naruto shook his head; he needed Sasuke to know how he felt before he died.

"I- I love you S-Sasuke," he said shakily, smiling up at the raven, blood pooling at the corners of his mouth. Sasuke broke down into tears, holding the blonde as close to him as possible without causing pain.

"You stupid dobe! Why'd you do it? I need you to stay awake and with me because I love you too!" he choked. Naruto weakly raised a hand to caress Sasuke's cheek. He smiled and the sound of sirens in the distance was brought to his attention. Now that he thought about it, the noises of the fight had stopped. He could faintly hear some tears in the background before his hand fell to his side and his eyes slid closed, a smile playing on his lips.

* * *

><p>The police arrived at the scene with an ambulance in tow. Sasuke was hysterically yelling at the doctors to bring the blonde back. Juura and Kamari were explaining what had happened to the two policemen whilst Cassie and Kaoru were being attended to for minor injuries.<p>

He approached the stretcher, tears falling freely down his face and splashing onto the pink lips that were curved up into a small smile. He grabbed the hand that had been warm not twenty minutes ago to feel it stone cold. Hiccups joined in when he realised that this might be the last time he got to hold his blonde. A hand caressed whiskered cheeks and he smiled slightly when he saw the eyelids flutter at the touch. Stupid dobe sleeping when he was worri- wait a minute! Sasuke's breath sped up as he felt Naruto's wrist. Sure enough, a small bump against his fingers sent his heart into overdrive.

"We need a medic! He's still got a pulse!" Sasuke yelled to the people behind him. Eye's fluttered open to reveal hazy blue eyes. Sasuke smiled.

"Hang on Naruto, everything will be fine. You'll be okay!" he reassured as he was taken into the ambulance and driven to the hospital. Sasuke rode in the ambulance with him, holding the hand that was steadily warming up in his grasp.

* * *

><p>Sasuke waited no less than an hour outside the ER before a doctor with black hair and purple tips came out, taking off bloodied gloves with a smile on his face.<p>

"Sasuke for Naruto?" he asked. Sasuke nodded; he knew he looked bad with blood and burger all over him but hey, who's to judge, he just came from a robbery!

"Your friend is extremely lucky that you found the pulse! Our doctors are very incompetent sometimes, not doing as they're told, playing jiggly ball and all so-"

"The news?" Sasuke reminded, interrupting the man's rant. He smiled and continued.

"Just go to his room and see for yourself. All I can say is, he won't shut up about you!" he smirked before walking off and catching the attention of a brown haired doctor with red streaks.

Sasuke held his breath as he entered the room. He looked around to see the only bed that was filled was next to the window, overlooking the ocean. The blonde turned around to see the raven before smiling. Sasuke tripped and stumbled until he was at Naruto's side giving him a massive hug. Naruto winced slightly at the fact that Sasuke hit where the bullet had embedded itself but nevertheless hugged back.

"Stupid dobe," he whispered to the blonde before pressing a kiss to his forehead and moving to his mouth where Naruto eagerly agreed to catch his lips in a heated kiss. It was decided that the two would never go to McDonalds again, unless they had some protection. All was well in the world as the blonde was content in his raven's arms and kiss.

* * *

><p>"Seriously? That's it?" Kaoru asked as he looked over the brunettes shoulder and onto the laptop screen. They were back at McDonalds. She growled and a hand on her shoulder stopped her attacking the redhead. His twin was laughing slightly when he saw who it was.<p>

"Hey Enjeru, impressive doctor skills!" Juura told the man as she entered with a bowl of ramen.

"Let's have a look at the ending!" she told Cassie as she read it.

"It's a bit vague," she told the brunette, who just slammed her head onto the keyboard.

"I suck at endings; they're a raging pain in the ass, I'm tellin' ya!" she ground out. Kamari sighed.

"And now she's quoting Supernatural," he pretended to be disappointed. Juura just shook her head and hit the boys. Cassie shook her head.

"I can easily re-write parts and make you get even more hurt or humiliate you!" she threatened. Everyone sighed and looked back to the screen.

"Now that I think about it, I think I like the ending. Sasuke and Naruto end up together and we still live!" Enjeru said.

"With great power comes the ability to manipulate the world into making SasuNaru!" Juura said wisely. Kaoru and Kamari snorted which ended up with them being hit again.

"Well, this was fun but we gotta be getting back," Kamari reminded everyone. They nodded and checked they had everything.

A click of fingers was heard before everyone vanished.

* * *

><p><strong>TADAAA! *crickets chirp*<strong>

**Me: F*ck you guys! *stalks off***

***Kamari and Kaoru enter***

**Kaoru: She gone?**

**Kamari: yep! Bring them in!**

***Sasuke and Naruto are dragged in bound and gagged; tied to one another***

***Twins leave* **


End file.
